I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
