Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
