it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
