You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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