i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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