i don't like sucking hair
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
