Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
