i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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