I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
