Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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