quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she peed on how many people?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
