i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
