Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
