I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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