How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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