Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
