All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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