Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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