Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
