How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
