i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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