Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize