You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
