I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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