i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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