went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
