Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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