i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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