Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's shark week go big or go home
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
