I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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