you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
