I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
