i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Randomize
