i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
