I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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