what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
