I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
