You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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