Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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