their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
