I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
