So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
