I'm gonna have a badass scar
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
