that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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