Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
