No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
