I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
