break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
soo... how was my night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
