If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
