well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
