im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
