Cold hands, warm shart.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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