I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
