So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
