There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
